


Everytime I Close My Eyes

by 97surge



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Jim Prime is dead, M/M, Sad, Spock is sad, and even so Spock loves him, because it's illogical not to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:14:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/97surge/pseuds/97surge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short story about Spock, because He  lost way too many things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everytime I Close My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey
> 
> This is a thing I wrote while I was a little bit drunk and emotional.  
> I just didn't want to delete it from my phone and lost it. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_(Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine)_

He lost his temper when he was only a kid. It was highly illogical feeling so much anger in such a young age, yet, he couldn't help but feel. He felt all his thoughts going away, and all the sense in his mind and body disappearing, and all that was left was the anger. The feelings.

 

_(And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me)_

 

He lost his mate and his best friend. He didn't felt so much affection for T'Pring but what made him suffer wasn't the fact that he lost the woman he had been promised to. But that he lost the man he had been destined to. Losing Jim made Spock want to give up, so when he saw his captain in front of him, breathing, alive, he felt peace. He felt home.

 

_(Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise)_

When he lost his life, he did not felt pain. It was like beeing tired at night and sleeping without noticing. He died looking in Jim's eyes. They couldn't touch, but that doesn't matter, because Jim knew. He finally knew how important he was to Spock. Life was in fact, a dream.

 

_(And there's no remedy for memory, your face is like a melody  
 It won't leave my head)_

Losing his memory was somehow, frustrating. Who were that people? How did they knew him? Why that human is looking him like he was seeing the sun? Who is he? Why he did that?  
"You would do the same for me." He said.  
Why would Spock do something for him? He though as he left.  
Jim. The name came in a flash.  
"Jim." He said. "Your name is Jim."  
And his smile made Spock tremble. How could he forget someone so important?  
Losing his memory was only frustrated, because he couldn't live in a world where he didn't knew who Jim Kirk was.

_  
(But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight)_

 

Losing Jim felt like losing himself. Spock wasn't there, so when they told him Spock felt, he really felt, like his whole world was turning black.  
Losing Jim was like losing air.  
Losing color.  
Losing logic.  
Losing home.  
Losing all.

__  
(I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side)  


Losing his planet was like a part of him beeing taken away. He knew it wasn't his planet, but all those lives, all that pain, everything was his fault.  
The cold where he laid wasn't as cold as his heart at that moment.  
__

_(when you find true love, it lives on. That's why I stay here)_

 

Then Spock saw him. The thing he lost and couldn't ever get back.  
It wasn't the same eyes, but he could recognize him anywhere.  
When he looked at Jim Kirk, an alive Jim, a Jim who was breathing...  
It wasn't his Jim, he knew it.  
But even so...  
Even so...  
It felt like beeing home.  
__

_(I don't wanna wake up from this tonight)_


End file.
